Creativity Sitting
26th February 2015

art, life, memories, thoughts | 1 comment

I have been sitting in front of my laptop here, editing away on photos I took from my niece’s first birthday party.  I have to say it felt incredible to hold a camera again.  It feel so good, so at home.  It’s been so long since my creativity ran through my body.  Again, it feels great to be able to sit here and continue the process by editing them since I have a love for being on my photoshop/lightroom programs.  I just hope my sister and brother-in-law love them.  This is after all their memories that were captured.  A momentous milestone in their lives, seeing and experiencing their very first child turn a year old.  I was so happy for them and for the rest of the family.  To experience the first grandchild, niece, daughter go through a memorable point in their lives was a great way to also indulge myself in capturing these moments doing something I love.

My niece's first birthday

My niece’s first birthday

Her Bday Smash CupCake

Her Smash (Cup)Cake

The Dessert Table

Helping set up her Dessert Table

This got me to thinking about my hobbies and how much I have neglected them.  I should have no excuses but that’s easier said than done.  Life did get in the way.  Having responsibilities, commitments, that job of being an adult does get in the way of things I love and it’s hard.  I think everyday about drawing this or taking a photo of that and I never got around to it.  It’s sad.  Now that I have some time to myself, you think I would have been able to do more of it now but job hunting is another responsibility that is a priority and again my creativity has been put in the back burner.

I want to put my camera to better use.  I want to go out and take as many photos as possible and finally get my goal of setting up my photography website out.  Eventually, I hope to achieve my dream of becoming a freelance photographer taking photos of special events like engagement photos, weddings, parties, etc.  I just need to commit to these things.  I need motivation, I need time, I need patience.  I will one day do all these things and one day I will be a professional photographer.

It’s not just photography though.  I also have a passion for drawing.  I haven’t drawn in ages.  When I started organizing and cleaning my office, I found my old sketchbooks and my, my … how many empty pages there are.  It clearly showed that my art had taken a very long hiatus and I hated myself for it.  I don’t want to force it though.  There’s no use in sitting there with a pencil and sketchbook in my hands, forcing myself to draw something.  When I draw, I want it to be good and not to just compensate for my guilt.  I did purposely put my sketchbook on my desk in the open for me to see everyday as a way for me to never forget that they are there. Maybe one day I will actually be inspired to draw something again if I see my lonely sketchbook sitting there on the table surrounded by my beloved pencils, pencil crayons, markers, fine liners, etc.  They are my prized possessions.  They are special to me.  It’s like having a long lost relationship.  There was so much passion, love, intensity back in the day until all of it was lost as time went by.  But one day, that long long love will come back and rekindle the fire and continue the passion as if no time passed by at all.

So point of the story here?  Nothing is ever lost.  It just needs to be rekindled.  A passion and love never dies regardless of what it is and how long it’s been.  It will feel that much better when you get back to the groove again.


Waiting to get on the train
22nd February 2015

homelife, life, thoughts, work | 0 comments

Life is a bit strange.  Such a love/hate relationship. All you can do is always hope and/or pray for the best which is what I’ve been doing a lot since I have a lot of time on my hands. 

Waiting in the lineup of the unemployment train to the land on further opportunities is quite exhausting mentally and emotionally.  I have so much joy every moment someone calls for an interview but then you drive yourself crazy afterwards in the waiting period of the callback.  Will they call you in a few days? A week or two? Can I even hold out for that long since I hate to be bored and feel useless? I can only organize and clean the house so many times before my mind starts to go blank.  At least I’ve been able to try 4 new cooking recipes that my husband now calls his new favourites.   So it’s been good and bad.   My mantra for the moment is

“God will never take something away from you without the intention of replacing it with something better”

So that’s comforting…  I think of this everyday and I try to think positively everyday that I’m meant to have something better. That I’m meant for bigger and better things. That God has a plan for me and that’s why I’m this position of … Whatever this is. Good news is that I’ve had quite a few interviews already and a couple sound very promising but like I said it’s just the callback waiting period. I’m hoping things turn in a good direction next week. I can’t wait to start something new and have a fresh slate to work from. I am thankful for the experiences I have had so far and I know that will help with my new endeavours. So fingers crossed ladies and gents for me.

On a different note. I have rekindled my love with photography. All thanks to my darling husband for giving a DSLR for Christmas. I was a little upset at him at first for spending so much money on a camera for me but really … I couldn’t be mad at him too much. He’s so supportive of me and he knows how much I have been missing photography and my dreams of it so it was the best sentiment. Anyways, I have been taking a lot of photos lately. I’ve been trying to practice especially during my niece’s first birthday party. I took A LOT of photos so I have a lot of editing ahead of me which I’m pretty excited to do. Editing on photoshop is one of my favourite things to do. I just want to make them as gorgeous as possible so that my sis and bro in law will have the most amazing memories of their daughter’s first birthday. It will mean so much for the both of us.

So summarize my goals for the short term (and long term, however I want to think of it)

Get myself a new kick ass new job
Work on my photography and practice the hell out of my editing skills.